A year of feeling alive

After a year of awareness, self-inquiry, reflection, and healing that was 2020; I was more prepared for the awakening that would be 2021. I now understand that we can’t really do or change anything in life without awareness, this was my first lesson in uncovering who I truly am at my core. For me the next step was accountability, 2021 was a confronting year; realising that I am in full control of my life, that I am the creator of my reality, and with this new lesson came an abundance of growth.

I truly believe and have now witnessed time and time again, that you aren’t really living until you step out of your comfort zone. When you are living within your comfort zone you are living from your subconscious mind, which means you aren’t conscious of your actions, you’re simply going through the motions of life with no awareness. How often do you drive to work and arrive forgetting the entire drive there? How often do you forget if you closed the garage door, or switched off the stove top? This is not being alive.

For me the reawakening of myself was stepping out of my comfort zone and showing myself that I wasn’t going to be hurt in the process! This started with cold water immersions, I went swimming all winter in Victoria. I stayed in the ocean as long as I could. This experience brought me into the moment, I was present within the feelings and my internal dialog was ‘it’s ok”, “you’re not going to die”, “you are safe”, “you are safe to surrender”. This taught me that I could feel uncomfortable, that I could do hard things, and that I was my own limitation!

Did you know we are hard wired to survive? That everything you have been doing up until this point has kept you alive, therefore when you try to change, your subconscious takes over, trying to tell you to stay the way you are because it’s kept you alive, simply surviving.

We are wired to survive, not to thrive, and it’s obvious that when we are in survival mode, this isn’t us living at our highest potential at all! It’s us keeping small, keeping to what we know because we know it’s safe.

For me breaking free from my wiring was taking action, it was doing ‘the thing’ that seemed really scary, that wasn’t the safe option, that was very far out of my comfort zone. I quit my secure job that I really enjoyed, I left my family and friends, I packed my life into a duffel bag and moved into a tiny van to go explore the country I’m grateful to have been born in, Australia.

By taking this action, it started the snowball effect, and ever since then, life has gotten bigger and bigger! Living in a van was my catalyst to change – to taking action, to stepping out of my comfort zone.

I left behind all my coping mechanisms (work, friends, distractions), everything that felt familiar and safe, and entered into a world of being alive, of feeling my feelings because I had nothing else to do, of being confronted by this new space I’d created in my life and being forced to do further work on myself because when you take away everything that you’re used to, you’re faced with yourself.

That’s one thing I don’t think anyone talks about when they create space to live this luxurious life, of not having a job, of having no time limits, honestly of leaving behind all social norms. You are hit with everything you are, you can’t run or hide from yourself, because that’s all you have, ever, but we are constantly distracted from ourselves; with our busy lifestyles, with our food and liquid consumption, with our screens, with our social lives, we don’t leave any space for ourselves. This is something I wasn’t prepared for at all when I decided to live on wheels – the spaciousness for myself, the void that I’d been trying to cover up/fill for so long, now so open, and exposed. The darkness that was my void also helped me see the parts of me that shine so bright. I had gifted myself me, my time, and my love to start learning about myself, asking what makes me happy, what makes me feel alive?

Connection, connection to myself, to others, to source, to nature, this is what truly makes me feel alive.

Although I used to use my connection to others as a distraction, so naturally I feel as though I was shown this lesson when we decided to leave everyone behind. I was forced to focus and connect with myself and nature. I was gifted the opportunity to slow down and to feel.

I also made the decision to study again, which scared the shit out of me as I was never very good at the academic parts of school and honestly, I didn’t believe in myself and my personal ability to do something ‘intelligent’ that also involved self-motivation. Doing this course allowed me to prove myself wrong, to rewire that part of me that didn’t believe I was smart enough or good enough. I totally nerded out and finished my course with almost straight HD+’s. This taught me that we really can do anything we put our minds to when it lights our soul up! I think the key here is to find something that gives you purpose, that makes you feel alive and radiant.

So coming home I realised that I had been gifted an opportunity of experiencing both sides of the coin, and it was up to me how to proceed forward, how to integrate the experience.

What happened next reminds me that when we are living in true alignment, everything will happen easily, the doors will open around us, the synchronicities, and opportunities endless.

I had been manifesting Journey With Jen for half the year, my journal was full of ideas, logo designs, and inspirations. I knew that I wanted to share my gift to the world, and after the time I’d spent on myself I felt truly ready to take up some space in the universe, to step into my power.

Within two weeks I transformed my healing space, I created an ABN, I registered my business, I redid my website, became a stockist/wholesaler for a few products and BAM... I become a business owner! It all felt super easy and natural, the total opposite to how I’d expected it to feel. I watched doors opening around me, for me it felt like a sign to keep going, that I was on the right path.

My intention behind creating Journey With Jen was that anyone who needed to see me would find me, and wow the response has been incredible, I honestly can’t believe it when I meet someone and they say that the night before they asked the universe for a healer!

I am still in shock, not quite believing the reality I’ve created for myself.

In 2020 I did a 40-day Kriya to release all that wasn’t for me, to make space for all that is for me. On the first day of 2021, to finish off the Kriya we closed it with a prosperity circle, in which I called in likeminded connections, trust and belief in myself, and the ability to do all that I’m here for.

I’m still surprised by the incredible souls I’ve meet over the year, the experiences, journeys, and adventures I’ve gone on. My new ability to trust myself more, to listen to what my body is telling me, and the fact that I believed in myself enough to action so many dreams of mine!

To end this incredible chapter in my life, I was gifted another opportunity (see what I mean about so many doors and synchronicities happening and opening around me!) to close off the year in the only way that felt fitting. To journey in solitude to a place I’d never been, to surround myself with people I’d never met, and to really finish the year completely out of my comfort zone. This allowed me to see how far I’d really come, to show myself that the work I’d been doing was working and that I could now face some of my biggest fears with this newfound strength and power.

I spent the last day of the year surrounded by strangers who felt like family, by people who reminded me that I am never alone on this journey. I ended the year with a circle of people dancing to the beat of drums, shaking off the year, of what no longer served us. I swam naked in a river joined by so many other natural bodies (there is something magical about the unclothed human body in nature). I felt the sun bathe my entire body with her rays of love and warmth; whilst my feet kept me grounded to this earth and this experience.

On the first day of 2021, I called in this experience.

I am living in my own manifestations.

You will never feel 100% ready to do anything out of your comfort zone, there will always be a reason why you shouldn’t take that leap of faith just yet, but if not now, then when?

All we have is right now.

My offering to you dear reader, is to go and do something that makes you feel ALIVE.