Back on the road

I’m back!

Honestly living in the wilderness doesn't offer much reception to post these, and after breaking our inverter I now can't charge my laptop, so currectly stealing power from a cafe for this cheeky life update.

We’re back on the road after a month of being back in Vic camping in Robs parents front garden (honestly still felt like we were in the wilderness). After a month and a half of South Australia we decided to go home to do some things to the van to then head up north. This short visit just kept getting extended and extended – Rob was sick, then he passed it to me, then there were some cool life events that I couldn’t resist staying for, and I believe I felt called to stay somewhere where I felt safe to explore myself with the support of my community at home.

Although I was only away for a little while in South Aus, I feel as though I learnt so much about myself, it really highlighted things I like and dislike, both internally and externally. I realised for the first time that I have to take responsibility for my own happiness – can you imagine how confronting this is for someone who has subconsciously been relying on others for their happiness.. yep damn it hit hard.

I enjoy being able to look at myself, my thoughts and my experiences and learn from them. I’m always questioning what I’m learning or being challenged with, why is this happening? It’s an opportunity for further growth and development; so although being in the pits is dark and scary, I know I always come out so much stronger than I went in.

I believe that my experiences from the past few months gave me the tools and strength to continue living on the road. I don’t think you can fully prepare yourself, nor should you, for what you experience when all the ‘normal’ things are stripped away from you, no work, no house, no family or friends, no reception, no shower.. like you honestly can’t be the same person you were before these experiences.

I was reading a book and came across this quote that struck a cord within, it perfectly depicts exactly how I'm feeling -

“Dreams become a tranquilizer to ease the pain of a moment that fails to meet anticipations. When such escape becomes habitual, we are addicted. Some escapes are visible, others not so visible. Some people use sex, drugs or alcohol to escape, others use work or goals. But every addiction is an escape from reality.”

- The Yoga of Relationships (honestly life changing)

There is no escape, I feel naked – stripped of everything I once found comfort in. There is no place for me to hide anymore, no distractions, no goals, it’s just me.

I think the very essence of me is rising to the surface with not only the help of being secluded in a van, but by also studying holistic counselling. I guess to be able to help others, I first need to figure my own shit out and having to do assignments that ask me to look at my very core self, of who I am, why I am the way I am and how to heal my past traumas, I’m rewiring my brain, my very being is constantly changing and evolving – I’m learning how to go with the ebb and flow of it all.

Classic Jen – a very deep start; but if you know me then you know this is how I am – a deep soul.

Currently I’m living my dream life, sitting in a café in NSW, I just ate the yummiest spiced pumpkin and egg with almonds on toast, I somehow managed to get Rob to come hang out here with me (of course he just got a bowl of chips!) we’re currently waiting on a hot chocolate and coffee (first coffee in a month thanks to my new obsession cacao). This is the first time we’ve eaten out this trip so it’s really something to write about haha! But honestly I’m just here for the vibe of sitting at a café and writing on a laptop like I’m some important person doing cool shit.

Anyway I’ll get to that actual trip now!

We spend the first few weeks exploring our very backyard in Victoria, taking our time embracing autumn in Beechworth and Bright, it was the most magical time to be there being amongst the falling autumn leaf’s. We crossed the border to NSW and went straight into an Airbnb, in was in the middle of around 100 acres with cows and land surrounding us, a wood fire to keep us warm and a real life shower woohoo! We’ve decided to travel up the East Coast inland as honestly there aren’t many free campsites on the actual coast so I haven’t seen the ocean for a month – starting to crave the salt water now!

So far we’ve honestly only paid a $6 booking fee at 2 campsites – the rest have been absolutely FREE, besides buying food and petrol we’ve been really good with our money, I’ll give you a rundown in a few months of around how much we are spending to help any aspiring vanlifers.

Ahh being near the blue mountains coming up to winter has been an interesting experience. Originally we planned to head up the coast quite quickly to some warmer weather, but we’ve decided to practise the very essence of this life and slow down, to enjoy setting up camp for a few days, to ground and take in our surroundings.

This has meant a few trips to get a new sleeping bag, some long sleeve tops and some thermals – fuck it gets cold at night! The other night we had frost on our awning tent, I honestly couldn’t’ believe it!

It’s been a little over a month now since we’ve been back on the road, and I feel like I’m finally surrendering to the experience. Not trying to make it anything but what it is.

I think the key is to SLOW DOWN, it helps bring awareness to who you really are behind your job, your house, your children, your friends, your goals, the mask that you wear daily to keep up with who you’ve decided to identify as. I think we live in a world that is too focused on everything else but ourselves.

My challenge to you my reader is to write a list of things that make you happy, these should be small things that you can implement into your daily life and choose ONE thing to start doing.

If I can gift you one gift from this trip so far it’s exactly that – learning what truly makes you happy without all the material shit, find what holds value in your heart, what makes it sing with joy?

Learn how to create a reality for yourself that feels like your escape – instead of trying to escape your reality.

Easy for me to say because I’ve done just that, but why can’t you?